Mr. grumpster is now 10 weeks & a couple days! We are starting to get the hang of this thing. I took him to the doctor yesterday(moving up his well child checkup that was later this week), I suspected he had Thrush, sure enough he did. So sad, I feel bad for my little man. Hopefully he will be better soon, it looks painful. He also got his well child checkup. He now weighs in at 12lbs, and is 23in long.(I don't remember the head.) Well I guess his weight is in the lower percentile, witch is not really what you want to hear. Doctor said he could use a bit of weight gain. I think being a Mom kinda comes with a lot of insecurities. I know he's eating enough when I'm home, but it's so hard to tell how much to have the babysitters give him of my breast milk. You don't get as much when you pump as when they are eating. Well I never feed him a bottle either, so I don't know how big to make them. Well I think I was making them too small, and no one really told me. Witch makes me feel like shit for starving my kid. Well the bottles are bigger now, and I hope they don't go to waste. It is such a pain in the ass pumping & I'm still not producing enough. A work day consists of pumping on my way to work(yes while driving) at 7:30, then at 10am, again at 12:30, 2:00, 4:00 & on the way home at 5:15ish (one side so I can feed baby when home) I will now add a pumping session at night, at home as well. MY GOAL is to BF until he's a year old. Right now it feels like it's going to be impossible. If I didn't work, I know it would be no problem. I am so so DETERMINED not to supplement. (If you are a formula user that is fantastic, this is MY goal so don't be offended.) I sooo hope I can do it. Once solids are added I'm hoping it will be a bit easier. I heard a quote today & really hope it's not the case as far as baby Ash & BF goes. "God laughs when you make a plan."
I honestly feel like motherhood is the hardest thing ever, full of so many decisions & they are all so hard to make. i also feel like motherhood is full of a world of people telling you "You are doing it wrong." It's not good for the self esteem.
On that note a 2 month well child visit includes dun dun dun... vaccinations. If you know me, you know I have hella been struggling with whether or not to get them. When I walked into the doctor's office yesterday I still hadn't made up my mind. Well I ended up giving him 1(the one that has 3 combined) DTaP, IPV, and hepatitis B. I still have anxiety about it. Can't I just move to a remote island & keep him in a netted area, away from all germs. I will grow our food, and no one will be allowed to visit. It just freaks me out and I hate putting bad things in our bodies. I don't even like to take Tylenol anymore. I will when my shoulders are having a very bad day, but I try to avoid it. Writing this is stressing me out. ha ha
This post kind of turned into a rant/pitty party. I'm sorry.
As far as Asher goes I love him whole entire world, I love the fussy baby he is & all.I wouldn't have him any other way. I really wish I could be home with him every day, then I could have the time to fatten him up & teach him all I know. So I've been reading The Happiest Baby on the Block and the 5 S's are amazing. Mr. Ash gets so mad when you swaddle him tight(locking those arms in), but 5 mins later he passes out! It's fantastic. He has been sleeping so much better at night too, since I started swaddling him to sleep. Last night he slept a ton! He went down at 8, and didn't wake till 1am, then didn't wake till 5:30 & went back down after eating. I think it was because he didn't feel good though. :( That doesn't mean I slept though. haha
I wish I was home with him right now....
Oh & just to add!! The babysitters have jumped on the cloth diaper train. WHOOT!!!
At first they all thought "cloth diapering, ewww I'm not doing that"
Even Mike thought that before we had the baby. Once Mike saw them & started doing it.
He realized it's not any harder than a disposable. I'm so glad all the babysitters
are using them now too.
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